And so 4 years have passed. Oddly enough not much has happened since, I moved houses 3 times and worked in 3 places. I found out I am workaholic and my fears about the game industry turned out to be true, I did about 22 months of consecutive crunch (some weeks working over 70 hours), in the end I really felt burned out… it took me a while to recover and I finally left.
Time kinda flew by, but I don’t really complain, I learned a ton and met a lot of awesome people which was the whole point, also succeeded in moving my folks out of Aberystwyth. Now I’m in a much better place, work is awesome and satisfying, new colleagues are ace and I can finally start focusing more on personal growth, etc… :)
On that note… the YouTube thing I mentioned I might try about 4 years ago, I’m starting that now!!! Well, in a sense – I’ve got a channel and I also got twitch but not sure what content to make. I started streaming playing games on twitch first to practice public speaking, and boy, do I suck at it. Unlike a blog post I can’t just go back and edit my sentences until they sound ok, I drew a blank and had no idea what to say, plus the added pressure of trying to be entertaining and engaging (even though I stream for 0 viewers, on purpose). But despite all that it is so much fun. I think I’ve gained enough confidence to not care that I suck and I’m simply enjoying it.
And yeah, speaking in front of an audience is a just a skill that you can learn and improve over time with practice. In theory it is slightly easier with YouTube because I can prepare a script and fake confidence by doing many takes and then picking the best one, but then again YouTube comes with a plethora of other skills to learn like scripting, editing, pacing… so there’s plenty of opportunity to suck there too. But as a general rule of thumb if you make a 100 of something, your 101st will be many times better than your 1st. Skill growth is also generally logarithmic – i.e. skills grow really fast at first (trust me, I’ve played tons of RPGs). So yeah, baby, it’s grind time!!!
Anyway if you’re thinking about starting your own YouTube channel, but are not sure about it, and for some divine reason you’ve come to this place and are reading this blog post – first of of why?! and you’re still reading are you nuts? these are just the random ramblings of a mad man! but second and most importantly JUST DO IT! Start now, make a crappy video and put it out there, you can always remove it later but you’ll learn so much in the process. It’s my most important advice I can give you and take this from someone who hasn’t even started theirs, so you know I am credible and have authority on the subject. Actually that applies to anything, definitely does to making games your first few of anything are going to suck, you’re in it for the long game and the grind, like a true gamer. If you’re not a true gamer get out here… This post slowly transitioned into inspirational, I have no idea what this post is about.
Speaking of which I have no idea what my channel is going to be about. I like making games, playing games, anime and making art… in that order, so probably along those lines. But I also like software engineering, computer science and occasionally mathematics, however those two groups of interests a bit too disparate and don’t quite mesh together, it is already way too broad of a spectrum as it is so what I might is keep the super technical, deep or personal content on my personal YouTube channel, and publish the light and fun stuff on the main channel as lots of people do. Probably should stop writing about it, but I am really excited… plus so far it has been such a blast, I think that may be my new hobby.